b e e f e r s a n d a l l o l d e r o n e s

my white skin against black outfit is showing well, just had a walk to the milk booth; route thru bananas, M park and M75 TO WATER TANK and then a gully!

2011-10-27T10:42:00.000+05:30

no need to yell!

2nd may 2011 when saga actually entered me for the first time, and after that this continued...

2011-10-25T10:56:00.000+05:30

it's hilarious!

shaved portion of legs, chest remains perfect! Saga likes hairless look of my frontal, chest and everything in front and likes keeping it that way while in action. I am dreaming him even now!

2011-10-25T10:19:00.000+05:30

THE LAST I had of Saga was too good for words, last Wednesday. He wanted to see a movie on Saturday, but I took the AC bus to Delhi.

2011-10-24T11:08:00.000+05:30

Then he wants to accompany me on 3 Dec meet!

it's like heaven with saga, so many events folding out with him!

2011-10-07T10:05:00.002+05:30

tored off pics whatever were remaining

2011-08-30T23:18:00.000+05:30

old hands on me

2011-01-18T17:15:00.000+05:30

opened a new account with the Seas, it were the old hands on me, I was not touched really. Santosh touch was missing! so again eleven turns to turn on my back, today's one finished with the special one they offered, I could not figure out what was it. total deal was for 15000/- I guess!

Saga phoned me up on 16 Jan, wanted a treat on closing a job!

2011-01-18T17:10:00.000+05:30

But I was excited about his talking over the phone to me after a long time, same note of mischief in his voice, welled up with feeling after a gap of one year!

amitaguy came on 6th after I allowed him to be rough on me after his several asking for cming to me.

2011-01-09T15:09:00.000+05:30

I just could not help but to call him. There is another soft guy we are phoning each other rather too much seems inclined to whatever I say. He will be a constant company!

last massage was when I retired on 30th nov, he did so forcfully, I was sweating so high, the lady at the counter gave me a napkin to dry myself!

2010-12-26T17:36:00.000+05:30

it was so good that I thought there was nothing better bodily than this act by santosh! I must ask for him next time whenever it is so!

i got to get my last massage in the package when I reach there!

2010-11-24T22:44:00.002+05:30

it is good for the body and soul! seven wonders in chandland!

2010-01-24T00:12:00.000+05:30

butt and penis two things in a body

2010-01-24T00:10:00.000+05:30

cumming all over the place!

2007-08-22T12:41:00.000+05:30

2007-08-22T12:40:00.000+05:30

2007-08-21T10:15:00.001+05:30

ya old stories now!

Yesterday depe dipped in me after massaging and then sat in sun saying no to it next time

2007-01-13T22:27:00.000+05:30

I thought of it first casually and was not prepared to do it, but it happened as I was not prepared for it. Then I went to library, mixed with one 88 yr old guy, gave him my mobile number! I was sitting in my car when ocutter rang me up and the talk lasted for an hour, I got late to pick up my spouse also. I told him about the fuck I had in the morning with some slant. He was feeling a little dejected as I gave details. Why not have him!
gave all details of printing all night! now it was complete disappearing act, no phone call, no wishing of lohri even, what is happening????
today had lohri, lit fire and sat discussing India shining!!

dry run by depe, mtra phoned me that he collected the the 2 copies at 9:30 am, he was in a hurry

2007-01-11T22:10:00.000+05:30

depe wants to attend marriage on 20th asking 1000 as advance. Sobeefer did not phone me either, must be sleeping as he must have been awake whole night!

I phoned him in the mobile no ; somebody else was there

2007-01-11T12:13:00.000+05:30

I dropped the line; I dunno who was that, maybe his dad or frnd who knows? came back home at 2:30 am after struggling thru printing, so many mishaps in there. It was lot of gossip and loose talks from my side! He was so cute in long hair and small features! I dunno when it wd be nexxt time! Both of us were bragging of ourselves and Rah! The helper looked quite surprised to find myself at his door such late hour.

he sent sms that to get his report typed ring him at 7:30 waiting!

2007-01-10T18:26:00.000+05:30

I dropped the idea of going to the gym, so urgent this becomes!
depe keep asking words like triumph, terrible,undertake, etc, he is glad his English would improve. So much was I impressed I wanted him to cook bread during lunch just thought of it!
my body muscles already pumped up, so paining! so no gym!

yesterday i incresed NA 's fee by 500, too much actually, wd keep them on toes!

2007-01-10T11:51:00.000+05:30

Depe was quite persuading me for the increase and i redily agreed to it. he is coming late usually!
ocutter spoke me on cell at 8 pm that he is not meeting sect. and still want his doon chap, just waiting his reaction. gave me nitin's number. According to him I was slow in opening up. So what do I do? Not phoning up beefer for so long, what to ask from him, getting hesitant and aloof from him day by day. ocutter was asking all the details as usual. I am moving without my purse today, since most of the time i wd be sitting in ca so no problem!!!! cold is bearable, yesterday missed gym.

i wanted depe but he said no, he did dry run on clothes

2007-01-07T15:16:00.000+05:30

He talked to me openly about what experiences he had earlier on with gals. He wanted to read English so much but he lacked brain according to him. So he did not want this with anyone. He said I was handsome and successful. He said he was not, rather weak he felt about himself. His thing comes fast he said. What to do he asked me. I gave him pep talk while reading the novel I could not concentrate. He said he would never make it. So that thing was worrrying him so much. How can one go to this thing when he has tension in mind. So small space devoted to him. He knows how much I draw every month. I hid most of my open entries from my site in the afternoon. I checked I had very little presence in there in fact. I am not going to be so open about it. No use striking big in this blogging!!

depe repaired the socket, he is not going for more fun!

2007-01-06T17:44:00.000+05:30

He sits closely yet keep some distance, can be managed at right time for he is hot. No news from beefer about his report. Long gaps are worrying me. Anyway I can't do a thing about it. He must be going to gym and would give me a shock by showing his bodd. Yesterday I had shoulders exercise. Some pain has to be there.

on 3 jan beefer phoned me to get his report printed, that he was going to skiing with his uncle's frnd

2007-01-05T09:46:00.000+05:30

late in the evening on 3rd he phoned that he would be going to skiing, that he wd be with his uncle's frnd and wd marry their daughter. I said would that thing not be boring and I was busy with Rah. he snapped it by saying enjoy.
yesterday at the gym that guy with hotel manag got frndly with me, helped me in arms exercise. was standing in line for the forms got raked a bit.

Depe was showing his white teeth, I remarked as whole thing kissable

2007-01-02T22:07:00.000+05:30

He told there was another guy in feroze who too got involved but he refused. He was sharing all this in the sun. No idea what my bf is doing! Got sms from ocutter about living in somebody's heart.

yesterday talked to bf on cellphone, he was having his dinner

2007-01-02T08:29:00.000+05:30

He narrated his events on new year eve and found out about mine, too. I was saying I'm not well. He asked me what I was wearing. Cotton coat would not work. He then stopped as he said he was taking his dinner.
Before that heard ocutter's decision to go ahead with secretary. The other guy has not phoned. It seems that relationship is over. He is more interested in relationship at his place now. Not out station one.
At gym one guy was eyeing at me. New equipment in gym from 1st

if I had little imagination I could have manipulated that US guy into relationship, well I didn't try out even!

2006-12-29T11:25:00.000+05:30

gosh! I left him on the way quite distant from his place of stay which was right on the far opposite corner, he had to walk so much. Next day SSB was crazy for him asking me his whereabouts. Yesterday I passed by the place he was putting up near the meeting point 35. So I was not bold enough and top of it I posted one silly question of the cultural war between the west and the east last night. Background was this ignore. Which was not true. As per the circumstances were I could have acted bold and veered him towards me. I was quite brash while chatting with rinku also today in the morning.

while having breakfast depe aroused mr tremendously, wish can have more fun with him!

2006-12-29T11:21:00.000+05:30

It is clearlya question of class I suppose. I want class. Do I insist on this? Both San and depe can be bundled together to form a carrot in me. I want to be crucifies really!

had long talk on mobile with ocutter he wants to try out secretary, and rest talk was like this:

2006-12-28T10:43:00.000+05:30

He uses std booth to call his daddy, as soon they meet they hug each other in public. His daddy makes him hot while going on rickshaw. He is hard-to-get type, he plays that and has full control over him, their relationship has entered 4th year now. He was baffled about my case. He said mine is incomplete relationship, could not make out what it is all about. I told him whole incident of going for the movie with beef and his sitting so aloof from me in the hall. His converstion and advice and rest of the events after the movie. I also told him about my going with the US guy and meeting him on the roadside. He advised me not to do that. I would not be phoning ocutter from my side as he needs my advice, and I don't care about his advice.

he asked for DVDs, and got his sms that both DVDs were bad!

2006-12-27T19:52:00.000+05:30

I drove to his place and gave him two vcds. I was with the US student in the car taking him for a lunch and then showed him the capitol. Got lately his sms that dvds were not working. He had long hair, and was sitting on the iron railing when we approached him, could not speak to him much for he was in danger area according to him.

bf asked me to give DVDs any number 3 to 4, to burn a film!

2006-12-26T21:50:00.000+05:30

I talked to him quite roughly. Always thinking negative of him. When he is gone I get upset over missing him. Lied that DVDs are not here, would try to get them tomorrow!

no xmas greetings from bf, useless sitting on the internet, why?

2006-12-26T12:54:00.000+05:30

OCUTTER GAVE ME CALL YESTERDAY all i could hear was some party going on with loud music, may be he wanted 'you are beautiful' song in the party be heard on the mobile . No xmas greetings from bf, so cold response from him after the movie. Why did I annoy him by telling about ocutter and late night phone least concerning him.
no tata sky, for it is costly, as 4250 to be paid for installation!

kabul fiza

2006-12-24T17:29:00.000+05:30

this song mesmerising me now, just had fun in 22 with ocutter, he is back from his sorrow of losing his bf, goofy, kink, his friends there in 22

my bf analysis

2006-12-24T15:00:00.000+05:30

he has too much attitude and then he is nice, too.
he took my pc and formatted for free, as this saved 700 bucks as charges, though the pc got virus from downloading his softwares;he has been grooming my pc with so many softwares off and on; his advice on my alteration in the house- getting ledges out, wash basin in dining suggestion about getting whole thing in granite, advice on my pc, then car deck player, my going to gym and so many odd things he corrected me.

I updated my profile as hidden in iff,op and in all the blogs here

2006-12-24T12:30:00.000+05:30

I don't want to upset people around me in finding who I am

yesterday at the gym someone compared me to Nassiruddin

2006-12-24T09:05:00.000+05:30

I took it gently, he was meaning it in positive sense, maybe he liked Nassiruddin. I liked his jacket, he took my hand and wanted me to feel inside it. He also commented on my hair, whether I was sleeping before coming here. I must not get too much involved in this. I am in my quilt while working on my laptop, my bf does not want my laptop now. Good.

2006-12-23T21:54:00.000+05:30

must see DVD now! Elizabeth

yesterday's last conversation on phone with bf was something like that

2006-12-23T21:09:00.000+05:30

his phone is still switched off
so what can I do
why does this happen with me only , always sidelined, last time it was with u and now with him
ok but it was not with me
i am only doing for him on humantrian ground, coz he was quite disturbed
ok ask him to send that sms I told u
but it wd sink his titanic
let it be
I was also in such state once, did not take food for 10 days, now I don't do such things, more practical
ok I can't sleep i did not enjoy the movie also thinking abt it
i enjoyed it thanks for it
no prob, it is ok
take cold shower, cool yourself

There is always some drama at the end of these dates, why would he like all that, and it is sheer on my request he comes, he is not demanding anything from me, so why this drama I am not able to understand. So next time I must take some positive attitude. After all he is taking such a risk himself. I did not bother him more after I got the message that he has no mobile. He is onto meditation I think. I find a better behaviour for myself now, it is getting too much! nasty behaviour with every body. He keeps telling me I am being nice to him.

depe did it cool, real bodd he has now!

2006-12-23T11:27:00.000+05:30

I wanted it to forget about rub and it was easy find in depe, promised him this was only time. My reality is going to change with opening of new avenues. so what is bothering me now. dthr also did chat with me, was getting hot about my day being free. rnkhana was eager on chat.
I got to have controlover myself. my bf is still my best bet, who readily comes to my rescue atleast after a month. I got to make him comfortable for he is uneasy with me!

I'm so paranoid of whole thing!

2006-12-23T10:12:00.000+05:30

yESTERDAY I tried to contact ocutter for I had interesting detail to tell him about my bf. His phone was off, tried many times but same result. I was uneasy about him, and his bf's non-responsive attitude to him. I took my bf for movie. I don't know what my bf did not not like about me, whole movie he was so aloof from me, he liked the movie, too. I was all the time thinking about something else. It never occured to me I was talking to youngsters in the food court, he noticed all this. He might not have liked it. He was also talking about someone he met at the gym and some others' phone numbers he was having. He had his frnd's mobile with him. He returned it today in the morning when I phoned him. His frnd answered the call. I sent an urgent sms to him to see me. since depe came in the morning, surprised me and I jumped at this opportunity, as some relief from all this. depe might be another killjoy!!!!1

yesterday went to 17 for bf's shopping and then to the mountvi

2006-12-22T10:30:00.000+05:30

finally went for addidas, had coffee on wayside; no more talking of your projects, your mummy, your this thing or that, I have left that, now your face is like crying. don't start looking in mirror, behave you old man, why don't you get haircut, looking odd with large face and small body. give me your this sweater for wearing one day. ok movie in funrep only, call me to this phone number, i have gvien this number to u and fauji. I got call from shl at 1917hrs, at 2003 hrs I was being admired for my smile; heavy body, tall, polished, guy was all for it. next time massaging, got back home, bf phoned me 2049 hrs. that was from his frnd's mobile, he is lieing, maybe he had gone to his frnd and phoned from there. He had heard my phone talk. no more complex situation or thinking about it. he was particularly interested on hearing fanna song, my fav, too. all songs

yesterday at late night show , one sitting next was horny

2006-12-20T15:21:00.000+05:30

i finally put my foot on him and he did not remove his foot1 as i moved out of car park put loud music in there to pass on my message!!!
went for a walk in the morning to pump house, nobody was there.so went to some bhawan closeby and talked in length about music and other things about sect to two singers employed there

must make clear what is this all about, posted one in the morning

2006-12-15T11:44:00.000+05:30

must get work to do.
I am queer, that doesn't mean I have to do all gay guys do. I don't think I need to copy all. Every fuckin guy has his style and priorities in life. Mine are different.
so I name my guys;
blacklizard: a straight guy with whom i am going maximum, not that I like him but he is available easily.
depe: a straight guy I had previously, not hardcore, lively guy, would prefer him anytime to BL. scguy: not straight guy definitely, a mature guy first time tried, polished chap.
mith: always available, he is not straight guy was busy lately.
deeplove: is still available whenever I want.
divinedip: coming from holy city, truly gay, satisfy me maximum, but have little contact. maturemumguy: comes regularly from outside, purely body love type, shower guy.
anilhar: mature guy type, had once, but need him hotter !
san: twice, but straight guy, can have him whenever I want him.
abs: new find just two days back, can him straight off whenever I want.
ocutter: no nonsense guy, online and on phone frnd.
abhise: no nonsense guy, elusive, online and phone frnd.
dthkr: lives out in mountains and can swoop over, had him once in car!

it is too hard to control old men, one is so cruel to them at times, not their fault

2006-12-14T20:50:00.000+05:30

I am finding so damn difficult to get that old man sleep, finding so dificult to cope with this new situation. I KNOW HOW OLD PEOPLE ARE SUCH HARD TO MEND. I must confess, it is really difficult situation now. I t is so hard on everybody and can't tell you! How miserable I am feeling now. It is such a waste of time. I must think of ways to make myself happy and make him feel nice, too. So difficult. What are we after now? If I want myself happy I have to think of ways to make him happy, too. I can't see him suffer as I would also suffer. I am drawing myself close to big full stop.

the door to the eats was locked in the morning, I was feeling horny but had to leave early

2006-12-14T09:48:00.000+05:30

his kiss yesterday was good on me, it was 24th instance not complete as I cummed too fast. Next time I would come to sex part straight and other foreplay could be combined! I am having straight guy and my system is changing. wish i could stick with 100% gay. divinedip is perfect . he is passionate about kissing deep and his body rythem also gel with me fast, only twice we had, he was terrific,I had to go the the border city for that. wearing new jeans, new sweat shirt and cotton coat, all set to be seen with by many!

a lot of confusion of who ate eggs, dbs opened out too much with me

2006-12-13T22:06:00.000+05:30

as usual with depe's uncertainity, blacklizard came in, who did some emotive moves, kisses and I cummed, shouted at him for I could not go further. This was not funny, he cracked two eggs. Now going to lock whole thing, no gaps and full checks on these nuts. I am losing out, some 7000 on bf alone till date. I can't afford more. I t was blessing in disguise as I approached dbs and opened out everything , even bf not spared. It was fast development I was waiting for. But that was all for today. I got to be very careful. Another animation fellow with some figure spoke out to me. I want to carry on with him now. That hotelguy did not come today in the evening.

deped is back finally it seems, met him on way in the morning

2006-12-12T12:00:00.000+05:30

He seemed to be in good mood to be back, replace BL. I had mixed feeling. He would be fun as he is playful intensely sincere and not so ready with skin. I want to have some restraint, different kind of chemistry. He seemed full bodied,nice clothes on.
Some post on dreams don't last another day sent. I am filling out here everything with gusto. So I am not bothered who finds out all this. It is record of happenings in my life if bf sees this so well and good, let him see for himself what is going on when he is not there on the scene. Musky and Smarty2 's numbers saved, let me try to wear them. SC was in the big city yesterday when contacted. He is ok and interesting guy to talk to.

there is no contact wit rub, what wd i do without him!

2006-12-11T22:07:00.000+05:30

there is still sweet feeling about him in me. so what was the matter if i did not give my laptop, he never pressed for it later, only tried to make feel bad at chatting, whether manda_master was him or somebody else no idea! so why put blame on poor chap, he is still my sweet guy, no matter what others say!

San did a fast one on me and promised another alternative to me!

2006-12-10T19:00:00.000+05:30

I phoned to my fund manager about some letter I received today. He said that was no issue and would look into tommorrow. I called San to come fast as I had to go. He landed, to collect payment and did a fast job on me. I enjoyed his torching me. 2nd with him. I t started raining badly after that; intense cold weather with no electricity for some time. Got to be ready tomorrow for full action. I am getting cut off from my bf by these moves, good for me.

I had gone to the Parrots' Park to keep my promise with Sharma that I visited his area of project and there I found one Haryanvi, my new heart throb!

2006-12-10T12:11:00.000+05:30

This cold morning I took a walk to a special area where my bf comes for stay during the weekends. I saw a familiar figure in the morning, I thought it was him. He was with somebody so I did not stare back whether it was him I did not care. I kept going straight, did not want to give weaker picture of myself.(I am listening to Dev Anand's narration in the Space Radio, his passion to life is inspiration for me. I am discovering things with a speed like he does. His voice is little broken up due to his afe. I would also be like him, talking in broken words sooner perhaps. I hate the idea of going old. I would be left alone as I am today.) I found this youth who was toiling with his morning chores. I was baited by his looks, astonishingly handsome. And I got stuck, had presence of mind to be with him at this point of time.(tere mere sapne ek rang hain....) I asked him to make some tea for me. He did it fast. I sat on the ground, on the cold floor where he must perhaps have slept at night. His charpoy was missing. Poor living so what?
There is no bar to heart. I must find out how he is in heart. Told him I would accompany him to his village.I was thrilled by the idea and his agreeing to it. Next Saturday morning I visit him and accompany him to his village. I was not thinking about my bf at that point of time. I t was a great moment I thought, I could now come out from his clutches so easily. It is perhaps the coldest day today; misty, dark, so disturbingly quiet weather. I got back to the pavilion and got blacklizard to pound on me as usual with score becoming 23. He flushed me with his thing I did not even feel it when he did all this. I was for it; coming from anyone no age bar. Mith phoned me yesterday evening and 13th is great date for me waiting. I don't want to stick to one guy.

now full account in these posts here. other blogging is being noticed

2006-12-09T22:42:00.000+05:30

I had 23 rd one with blacklizard, very passionate one. gave him 10 bobs. I had raw paneer, got new letter pad for the mobile. no need to buy new mobile, instead bought new Levi's jeans for 2399, good one, low rise and tight fitting, in future i wd be going for the best wears that I like for myself. had first use of google talk with Par. Very clear. and with Div also. I met with some hotel management trainee from 20 who was correcting me in exercise, wanted my visiting card. Mith phoned me there is somebody he would itroduce to me he was interested with me. with Rub things are stopped, Abhi was on phone yesterday advised me to call off friendship with Rub he wd be making a fool of me again. after the last chatting where he was nasty with me I thought that wd be end of it now. Unless he wants to continue with me. My pendrive, one hard cover Dressing right remain with him!
I was enjoying with people. The relationship had become indeed stressful the way it became with Peecu some years back. We did not see each other at all. He does not like me from heart, so there is no use of one way relationship. He does not care about me any more. I was telling in the last chat that he does not reply to my off messages. he shot back that he did not care. Also I cannot thrust myself there. My phone bills in the mobile is too much, 753 for std is too much, no more calls to Noida now. I got to be practical and economical I think. use of mobile to be sparingly now. Since now i wd be using google talk the bill in the landline also should reduce.

yesterday around 1 pm he sent sms whether in love, I called back in the evening

2006-09-21T21:10:00.000+05:30

He said he was doing nothing, just the regular training stuff. Wanted to go for ride in his car but dropped the idea as it was not available. Later I offered that I would drive, he declined saying he was going to dinner. I said, "Enjoy nice chicken." I was tranced while talking, we both were talking like each other, same accent, same use of words and almost falling over each other!

The all-new Yahoo! Mail goes wherever you go - free your email address from your Internet provider.

two copies from kuru arrived, talked to blunderboss that I would go to the golden city for my masters!

2006-08-21T16:01:00.000+05:30

Hellish reminding of going for masters again, terrible feelings. Then there was politicking about how should the function go for that particular day: low key?
I should know what happened on that day: the city was born, first sperm hit the ground.
I was made shut up most of the time. My suggestions fell flat.
Told to remove the bloody carpet from my room and left the place in a huff! That Pendulum book I left in the drawer.
I calculated the expenditure in hot chase since my b'day, it would be something to remind me that how much I spend my bucks for fun!
That figure was for one instance only and it being highest so far. Lyrics case was also mind boggling with drinks and all. Thirsty case was much less, just drinks.In White case it was not less, some one thousand odd touched. In all ten thousand figure must be true!

It is good pastime, living a world I left long time back. It is like sharing their tremendous energy, and coming so close to it.

2006-08-20T09:36:00.000+05:30

Yesterday it was arms taken care of in the gym. Real pumping was done on them. First it was on inclined plane dumb bells lifting, then bar rolling on, machine resting stand, wire pulling, dumbell over shoulders, still not got proper names to write about! had camming session in the afternoon and at night! was very old in some cases! but it was ok!

Yesterday events moved too fast, the bloody film, then trip planned, and getting sms and calls from everywhere, and ringing Rub in the movie hall !!!!

2006-08-19T11:03:00.000+05:30

Some 40 yr old guy local called me while I was driving home around 5, he sent sms introducing himself and all. Then received sms and missed calls from guy from Mumbai coming here on Thursday evening. Some KKhotmale locally chatted with me. Some Bihari sent missed call and I called him back. All this kept be busy before I hit the movie hall. Had planned out visit to rugged places for 1, 2, 3 of next month. Had back exercise in the gym, it was terrific experience! I felt horny while looking myself in the mirror!!!

Yesterday bus moved off at 9:30 pm and we were there one hour before time!

2006-08-17T14:06:00.000+05:30

Had to kill time, in fact Rah also came back in time after meeting his friends and all. Received a call from Pune. He was quite impressed I am so deceptive in one way or the other. Then somebody from Ahmedabad long chat, was bowled over by me.
After hue and cry in the function at the leisure valley today I had some dabas again a known fellow, I got to be damn careful. Sent one silly sms to Rub!
All DVDs were good excepting the Dracula one. Might hit the bar with Activeguy treating me to a drink. I smsed wd be there after 8, after my gym and all! I rang somebody in New Mumbai some Prem!It is going faster with dreammerchant thing on!

Some eats out in the restaurant, and ISCON temple visit

2006-08-16T16:50:00.000+05:30

Had eats in the reataurant, and as soon we were out of the temple got one sms and then another, till we reached I had one call, Rub wanted to borrow 100 bucks. I had not seen him since 24th so at last was able to see him at the fixed point. The lad had gone weak, long hair and pinched out face, lot of studies on head, at 2 am he returns to sleep and off he goes to training at 9 am. So hectic and so smarty he has become!
Rah took his laptop and went to see his friend and another friend drops at my place so another meeting fixed for 5 pm. At 9 pm has to report for the bus.
I was wearing tight grey pants, as summer wear tag. White tshirt and brown shoes, with such hectic gym exercises my face looked punched out, too. There were no comments from Rub on this. Had to miss today's gym.

so yesterday it was leg day in the gym!

2006-08-16T11:06:00.000+05:30

leg exercise in the gym yesterday did not tire me as it was last time, so exhausted reached home, ate two eggs white. Rah came without seeing movie yesterday night, today they have gone so early in the morning.
I got up early, took dad to toilet for shit!
then I had bath, shave and rest of things to goout for something, finished seeing DVDs yesterday night only with AC on. BROKEBACK Mountain finaly done yesterday, what a relief from Rub who presented me one!
Imust do business at my work place.

Since 24th July no see! Not seeing him, today sent sms on the Independence day!

2006-08-15T11:31:00.000+05:30

It is crazy scene, he is fighting with me, he only told me he would not meet me for month time now since 24th July I have not seen his face, his pics having developed, his full details of last exam passed with me, he is struggling for best results in exams now!
I have to show some progress in my career, yesterday bought magazine where my article has been printed, courtsey blunderboss!
So I have to get from here, take bath and go to places!
There was so many raves about my body in the posts, thrilling experience, thanks to the gym!
I like being slim with some muscular forms, my face lins are better than those of Nassirudin Shah and little better than maybe Prince Charles, whom I am comparing!
I have disposed off my jeans and black tshirt to Rah.

so Monday was shoulder day, asked my fav there to help!

2006-08-15T11:07:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was shoulder day, did five exercises and with lot of consistency. Before reaching the gym got two messages, one sms from amit-roh 'wasup' quite unlikely from the rouge he is, someone is helping in this; immediately following this was a missed call I switched off, thinking it was from him again. Had cool sitting in multiplex and as soon I reached home after gym and all, lot of sms about missed calls flooded the cell; were about the festival advance I missed for everybody up there. And my friend also got annoyed, that missed call was his. So I gave long explanation with all lies and all. He told me to delete that. I was not seeing him lately as he was busy with his studies. Since long time I have not seen him, his hair are getting long and all that. Let me picture him what he must be looking like. I think same as I first time saw him in the forenoon last year, September.

Haider seems OK , so is Jeet! No more options, Amar's sms keep flooding the space now!

2006-08-13T20:54:00.000+05:30

The two wheeler exercise, less pressure in the tyres dislodged the rear wheel then fixed it, got air into both the wheels....pressure of air reduce as being stationary. The mosquito coil was effective in driving themosquitoes out. Teached rubberman a few English lines. He more bent on religious discourse in the TV. He ran home immediately in the afternoon. So I was sleeping heavily after having part of brick of malai cream in the lunch. Did not go upstairs for the social calling as was too late for it.

Schedule of exercise at gym!

2006-08-13T08:32:00.000+05:30

1st..chest
2nd..back
3rd.. arms
4th..shoulders
5 chest I suppose
6 Sunday
7 back I suppose
8th...arms
9th..shoulders
10th...chest
11th..back
12th...arms
13th...rest being Sunday

now sitting at home very comfortably, how about sharing clothes with your son?

2006-08-13T07:59:00.000+05:30

Rah landed in the morning, showed presentation of the work going on. She took out some clothes duly washed and told to wear these trousers to him. I got another new trousers to him, worn once by me. He would wear what he likes, all clothes lying in wardrobe in his room. So dreammerchant, another ID born! Lot of Germans around in the site.
Yesterday at the gym: arms exercise---first with dumbbells on inclined, bar curl on, arm on the lift machine in the furthest corner out there, cable press, with bar lying down flat, single dumbell arm over head. had gone to grain market, eat fruits!
On 11th got laid in fact! rubberman doing the job fully plugged in, gave one advance!
One sms on sharing cap as he has long hair now! I replied as I was wearing one on site visits. Did back exercise: machine bar press both back and front, single dumbell hand press with back bend over, lifting weights at the T bar, wire pull while sitting, rowing with one hand at a time.
On 10th did on chest exercise: weights on straight bench, weights on inclined bench, pack up, bend over with weight, rest I don't know... must find correct terminology for all this!

Saga was toying with idea of leaving a sms for me to ponder on, latest on who pays the bill!

2006-08-10T12:13:00.000+05:30

quite literally he is ruling the roost, I am not answerable. Whatever he does to me I have a role to play in that. I am given that centrestage developmental role. So many angles of viewing life, friendships, and whatever to do with paying the bills, gifts etc. I am amazed the wide spectrum he reaches or what acute thing he narrows down to. With seeing ZULU with Micheal Caine starring in it, the DVD I watched last night, made me understood why the white overruled everything in the world scenario. What filming of action it was in the film, some stark landscape in South Africa, and half naked black men fighting to the hilt, carrying spears and shields and also resorting to the use of bandooks. So I was aroused by the blackman.... in and outside the screen.
No answer from me to his sms, did one require one? If it did then I get jacked up by him. I would rather wait and see. I wanted my freedom back that was guiding me in my every action or move, so cautious and alert I was getting somehow!
Friendship is heart of life I was told in a sms by sombody else.

I could not stay in the workplace today for no electricity there, some transformer having blown up there. Kalia on Gandhinagar provided some insight to working of individuals into some projects attracted utter failures!

yesterday I talked to him with him waiting for long time, not intended

2006-08-09T22:04:00.000+05:30

my rebuff , no it was yesterday. I was to reply his off call. I did it very late. After some visit to the monument an doing nothing in my room I tried to pacify him . On the contrary he was pacifying me. His work was done by using someone's computer.Why computer an issue?
And the day before yesterday it was height of my acting unusual to this lad. So what was going on nobody could make out. He must have made up his mind to be harsh on me, I knew it. Two off calls, one sms clearly worded and late at night my sms was most confusing one. Yesterday he was showing annoyance to this bloody sms. How can I corner him with this bend of mine? So yesterday's talk was some relief to me. He is still a relief to me. When he is not meeting me I try to make bridges with other guys, not working though.

Today I met that informer, hot shower and all. Matrimonial discussions took lot of space. Then Gem filled some hope yesterday. Then Jasbir called me for the first time, wants to go for a drive say tomorrow! All this going on with methodical delay!
Today at gym..shoulder, quite heavy exercises, coming out with new ones.
Yesterday it was arms, some new ones again.
His computer's motherboard has crashed, would be without one for a month. Call him to use mine!

so naturally it is they who gonna to fuck me!

2006-08-05T12:54:00.000+05:30

always finding holes with friend who is around with me longer. So quit is easy word to apply in this situation. So I would not be hanging around with him any longer.

the palm on the keyboard and not seeing the keyboard it is excellent way

2006-08-05T09:17:00.000+05:30

so here is good morning to do everrything, just heard a bang on the door, that man has come, he was my fondler, my man who got inside me twice by force, and of course vaseline did the trick, so naughty ways helped. My vocabulary has dried up, since no reading is persisted. I want to grab his and shove it in me again, afterall there has been long time no entry, nothing happening. Saga is not to be found, he is gem now, securely out of reach. I don't want to hear no from him. He is of the same view I do figure out. My heavy investment on him I don't want to go waste, and don't want to blow up with another fiasco! He should feel secure financially that was the reason he came to me. I made him to come to this unknowingly. He had moist eyes. His face never seen as looking blank as did mine, always forward looking glances. My words are haltingly boring. Words are losing sheen. It is ok it's alright. My words have lost punch he so liked to hear. My words are becoming meaningless since he would never read all this, not possible for him to access this. So everyone who reads this may perform his role on me, fuck me!

the problem was jointly made, showed some interest, got to be busy somewhere!

2006-08-04T22:01:00.000+05:30

I can't forget Saga. So I've not closed off the link. It is just merely a break. All I know there is competition all over, so he is all the part of it. He may cross over my dear one so what can I do in this? So I have to lie low. At the gym today it was shoulder, yesterday it was arms, the day before it was back and before that was chestand before it were legs and so the evenings are full. Yesterday good chat with Gem, so next would be him?

it is cool time, not happening, not real times!

2006-08-03T18:38:00.000+05:30

i had no talk with Rub since his computer got busted. Why? It is some avoiding from both sides. I don't want to spoil from my side. Let it be from his side. Saw my pics really bad at that. He maybe right i LOOK HORRID, NOT WORTH FOR HIM. So IT IS SO LOW PROFILE THING and he is not bothered whether I call or don't. He wants to have his life curve go up and earn lots of money.i let the score as it is, no hurry in there , let me see how it works out to be!

got it started somehow, three active in the team!

2006-08-01T15:45:00.000+05:30

one is idealist, as things work out in manner hassle free. One doer in sense wants result by hook or crook! and one generalist sitting in symbolic presence to keep an order. He cannot make mistake because he takes orders from those who do. I went with words ahead but when I got them in short supply he handed over the bait to the guy sitting next to me, who , too, lost his steam after saying a few words, finally to the guy who was looking for such opportunity to bask in the glory. It was short-lived as I plunged in mid-way during his speaking out of his mind, myths and infrastructure related matter. It was edgy. It was roaring storm in my mind.I was not relaxed so I needed some break. So got up fast and let them take break, too.
Entered the room, discussions geared to an order, routed all possible views on development govt initiated or in private hands. Both have their pitfalls. So handed over the film of yesterday's non-sensical things shot in a hurry. I would be aghast to see the results; poor light, exposure not verified from experience, truncated pics might not be slected for the prints..... call them art objects they would be acceptable... so wait for another day to see the light of the day!

digging into matrimonials, first talk on phone yesterday.

2006-07-31T22:55:00.000+05:30

Had a talk with Rub , his computer's RAM is busted it seemed, would come here after some time!
Coming in terms to live without him now! As I got firing on reaching late the first day, got away for filing the returns, finally succeeded in doing it. Legs got heavy exercise at the gym, there was a thin attendance there! After that took some shots with camera and flashed the whole film in different poses, just me alone. Let the result be out in a day or two! want to sleep early as I have to hit the place at 8 in the morning a little too early, guess i've to make some symbolic presence there! i choose to expose myself in full glare!

some universal truth in the morning, from rub!!!!!

2006-07-30T10:17:00.000+05:30

received in the morning one sms on universal truth! had two anti allergy pills, seemingly worked well last night after finishing the movie second time, had shifted to dining room to watch it minutely, every line going home! no huggies here, have to go and get them!

told lies at the ENT, no mood for provisions, eat little and badly

2006-07-29T11:57:00.000+05:30

I returned the fucking DVDs and took three more to fill the time, so that I'm not reminded of my bloody heartthrob, my man Friday, that guy who wakes me up in dreams. I have to become a too busy type in order to keep him at bay. I played with rubberman's butt yesterday, and usually keeping him in good humor, then ask him to penetrate me. He is so skilled at everything, changed my car's flat tyre yesterday and today went out to find about the date of his exam which was already over. Some bloody jackass he is!

I was to go to the fucking valley in the morning to get screwd! hell didn't go

2006-07-29T08:30:00.000+05:30

what thhe heck the place to be, other chap is not even posting his pic. I am such a crap after him. Forget it fucking shit. I had two dvds doing rounds last night so fucking how the hell I was to get up in the morning. So had my fucking cool kept sleeping , let's see this fucking dabas reaction man!
I am not giving fucking importance to myself so paying fucking high price for it. Shit wasting money for nuts really!
That fucking friend has stopped calling me. Last I called him for supper, he had fucking no time for me. That was on 27 th. What fucking I am doing here man!
One fucking bastard I called in the house, had good fucking round ass, first time I jumped on it like hell. Only timings were wrong, as he prepared to go, fucking auntie came along, he had to be pulled out from the fucking scene from the back entry!
Yesterday did chest, the instructor asked me to take four fucking eggs! So I took four last night, one with fucking yellow! So I had no sleep till it was past 12. Send some fucking messages during chat to one my fucking heartthrob. Fucking screw he is digging shit hole for me! some cesspool we are in!

arms, yesterday evening it were shoulders, today maybe back some fun at the gym!

2006-07-26T14:14:00.000+05:30

I had pumped up chest last Saturday, today I intend going in the evening, have to check what I would be wearing!
so let's see that chap approaches me cool! so it is gonna be hot scene must say!
some hunkies sitting here, too, but don't know whether they would like to have fun! timetable has me on tuesdays and fridays! so 31st is the date with so many of fools! I deserve a better place I must say, nicest butt going around the place, now getting it vaselined to easy entry with rubberman, but still not ready for it!

some dabas after me, says do it in car, 32+

2006-07-26T13:58:00.000+05:30

just left chatting with a guy, still aching for a trial run! Last Sunday's drive with divine was ok! not quite happy with new situation developing as Saga put his foot down last evening's call to him, was quite wild at me for auntie's words to him and my keeping voice out there! Miserably went to service centre to find fault with the laptop! warranty till 5th September. What drivers, what lense problem and what not? Saga told me to keep playing with internet and stop burning dvds till he put drivers again!
saw rain dance last night on the first floor of the house opposite!
had to be content with what I have, I want Saga back!

so the toy was back with me he had reloaded again some virus got in again at the last moment

2006-07-25T13:12:00.000+05:30

Some movies already in there he had put! Yesterday I got a pack of dvds for the burning, it was waste of effort and time actually. No heady results. Morning gym on Monday was so lacklustre with exercise for the arms again quite effective. After I returned home early got cold shoulder from the rubberman. And in the evening, too, I was getting raw deal from everyone that inluded Saga who had come here for helping in the burning of the dvds. So his hurried exit and no results in the burning. Dad had to be fed with icecream as food was not to the taste for him.
Today got my new specs, long and narrow, but making my eyes look too bulging! What a new look for the people! Sunday was special for the body and all physical with one divine, a kind of ritual only!

waiting for the call to move in muscles!

2006-07-23T09:54:00.000+05:30

no sms or call from the man Friday I understand must be busy. So today Sunday evening he promised he would deliver the toy. If I get through with call I am waiting it would be shortlived. I don't want to leave the place in the evening as he might come. I have no hair now since it is to put up my best there. And Yesterday I was stubbed a little by the rubberman just before the call received, I t was all greased. He is not wanting it. So yesterday it was all reading and going to the gym in the evening, the chest having pumped out with 5 exercises; straight bench, inclined one, packing machine, forward backward machine and lastly it was bend over. Did not overdo by taking on some other organ. Slept early as book in hand got heavier and words from there obstructed my thinking badly.

finally pc with him for the formatting after getting it back from the dealer

2006-07-21T22:44:00.000+05:30

The evening round today had unscripted end with dishing out and in of the pc. Once it had gone in the shop and it had aleady got the partition done we got it out saying we would get it done free. He warned it might crash and so I readily took the risk with Ru behind me coaxing me to do it. Had cold coffee with some money saved! On way listened to Beatles dropped him off on the way. At home had to get dad in proper shape as he was not going to the toilet, his shit out. Took bath. Before that Amrt guy confirmed that he be coming on Sunday I gave out that I could meet him first! Long process of changing oneself to another personality. Art of living would not help. 21st would be hectic and even all the days after that! Let me be tension free! Sharma agent wanted me to become party in his insurance scheme, I was totally unresponding to his coaxing, Vij always took lead in selling policies to me! So all the way to smartness as shown by people around me. Third chance with my toy, all the concerned numbers noted in the cell! What I missed was lecture by Ashish at AF on the history and architecture of the city. So I would be somewhere on the top by all this means!

If i have to spend my money on some way on my man Firday then what's wrong. I am giving him so much boost I like it!

2006-07-21T12:40:00.000+05:30

He is sticking with me so I am alive with fun and good face everytime i look in the mirror man. Let me go the g4m site to find all about that Spanish guy!

waiting in here at work pad for the cash of ltc kind!

2006-07-21T12:34:00.000+05:30

I wore new SF shirt, looks groovy with jeans and black belt on. There are so many mistake in writng this i want to practice this while looking at the monitor. that would be great man! last few lines i typed this way, some letters i know the location correctly while in other cases i forget it, it is some fun you know, this ilearnt from that guy my man Friday!!!!

what happened to my pc I dunno, gone very slow, something has to be done in it!

2006-07-21T12:27:00.000+05:30

As I woke up in the morning, it had stopped downloading the stuff, no internet connection , the icons were not responding, it was dead slow. I found new ms explorer real bad, Norton any virus also slowing the thing really bad. This computer I am working is ok, this being at my work place! so what to do, have called my man Friday, let's what does he do in the evening, till August it has the guarantee period so it wd be nice if it sets up ok!

Yesterday he landed up here after giving a missed call was fun to have him along with other guests

2006-07-20T22:07:00.000+05:30

He was here yesterday evening, checked whether I was doing what he wanted to download, wearing same sporty gear showing his long legs!
I had my front tooth back with the bridge finally! I was quite lonely at the gym and found myself doing things just like that, was not effective with right technique. Had called people for lunch with ice cream and talks on books, websites and films.

I gave two missed calls and that set the ball rolling backwards!

2006-07-17T14:32:00.000+05:30

It is quite thinkable what my problem is about!
So for one small thing I keep trying mountains!
So it is bad!
Other fella doesn't give a damn to what I am!
So bad is that!
Lost my confidence to be what I want to be!
So enter my heart to feel how weak it is!
That probably is the end
A relationship
Not life man!
So live your life as it is yours man!
Don't let it be ruined by small things!
Be generous and strong
So let it be one day too hungry
One day too strong

It was all said and done
Talking on the phone made not much sense to me
It was evading the issue
Those who look at me in my eyes make me strong
Those shy away and walk away just like that are really bad
So missed calls made no sense at all

It is herculean effort to be what one is
So enters the new relationship serves me fine

I have not moved away from this mode of writing on the wall. what does it mean? I mean blogging is writing on the wall!

I think I have to go and get my books of all sorts die a slow end!

2006-07-16T20:41:00.000+05:30

Maybe my way of thinking would do good as rest is being picked up from the trash can excepting for one rare case who is absconding from the scene right now, and on account of his I am doing all this crap writing on the wall!

I think peace is somehow required that could be a wise move silently and with a force, too!

2006-07-16T20:25:00.000+05:30

ok this is what required for a Sunday peace!

walked on china broken in the kitchen result of my on the line with someone she doesn't like maybe!

2006-07-16T20:17:00.000+05:30

It was bad scene but music scene in the room helped me out keepmy cool. I was in very awkward situation but this helped me in support of whatever I did in the past, my spending money on him also got justified if this was the situation at home. Call i a hme where trust is the last straw to hold to get going.

Yesterday it was tough handling for the downloads.

2006-07-16T09:26:00.000+05:30

She was getting ideas what was going on, wanted the name for whom I was downloading things at night. Now the late receiving of calls and sms has to be alerted about! I had my ears checked up then went to my friend's house who was not available for the meet and then another one who was not at home we returned without having met anyone, took book in my hand! fell off to sleep, almost had to be woken up for lunch. Had walk in the evening upto the market. He did not turn up at the gym! She was quite disturbed for I was not doing anything as my face showed. So alarming it becomes living in your own home! He is not going for bridge nor cap, a smart move, eventually would go for implant wow! Am I jealous of him?

what I did today was long due to him, I cannot be what I think is right for if there is mutual understanding between us it ought to be respected

2006-07-14T23:28:00.000+05:30

finally he got away with his present for his birthday that was long due to him. I felt duty bound to make him comfortable. He complains about my being so kiddish about my spending on him reluctantly. I don't know what I do, is it his being nice to me prompts me to do him so or something other for I keep telling him what I really feel.Also he is blunt in telling me that if I was fortish that would have been marvellous! I keep telling I'm not old!

Umberto ECO Foucault's Pendulum spotted and I picked up from the box that was still to be sorted!

2006-07-14T17:18:00.000+05:30

Yester Rub came over after my message'what's up? no see!' got him. I was at the dentist hoping for a new look, the mouthful look maybe! So new pendrive, I erased the message as if that was the solution for it. I was called a dog as I did not let him take one dvd. He sat consantly at my seat and did all sorts of tactics to make me feel comfortabe with all that . He had a knack of getting to the bottom of things. Deposited the IT returns in nayasaral form. Did bank work at two places! Hope the cheque goes through this time also! There would be enough money to celebrate life! And to be around my buddies! One rubber buddy got in through my creamy hole by default, so annoyed that he is not opening up with me, I am not begging for this again. I have my resolve not to do this again. That was on 12th as he landed up on his bike and came over his inhibition.

oh! his dental appointment I would be missing his playing of mouth and alert mind!

2006-07-11T16:14:00.000+05:30

I have to break the ice for I would be missing that guy terribly. He has not sent any sms since last appointment when he left without speaking out anything. Do I have ring and say what!
So it is a deadlock. Who is the loser? Come to think of it both!

The meeting far too entertainment than actual business, it is everywhere!

2006-07-11T15:57:00.000+05:30

I got to admit there is nothing serious in the world, everything is managed by sheer luck and capacity to rule the minds of those around you. You manipulate things all the while, whosoever is around you closest, the best bet!
I thought of all this as a typical situation coming handy everyday from hard business to romance!
I got to overcome my fears first! I got to be myself what is in vogue!
Truly speaking low esteem is disaster to begin the round!
Evening gym is noe a common scene, not much of an intellectual activity, but I like it since it is less taxing mentally. I keep forgetting the mode of doing things in there. Every situation requires an alert mind! Hilly people lag behind on account less pursuance of an idea! A parallel thing is in the offing! Let's shift our preferences to something highly worldly! More commercial and up to date. I mean the idea that makes money!

waiting for the medical, anytime now!

2006-07-11T09:25:00.000+05:30

Have to attend a lunch meeting with tourism people, included in quite reluctantly. Another guy who wanted in is sulking. Yesterday at the gym felt so astonishingly alone, the place was swarmed with guys of all color and hue. Had to catch up with sleep yesterday on account of the late night viewing of the final football match where France played against Italy and sadly lost world title. I kept glued to the tv and had load of cold coffee and juices. I t was very entertaining match, some unscripted drama they said.
Prior to that left Rah at the bus station and lots of things to carry. Somehow one warm wear was also kept in the bag.
I just punched missed call to him. He has taken two important books, one Gore Vidal authored and other 'Dressing Right' which i want back before he says good bye!!
I was at the cam, one visitor wanted me to have hairy chest. There is no end to some idiot thinking.
I want my guy back at no cost. He has been so playful all the while. He is getting bugged with studies I think. Got my dentist appointment postponed to Thursday at 12. Got to get insurance done for the bike. Then IT return has to be filed, so many hassles in life, then gas booking and provisions for the kitchen running.

Saw Phirherapheri a flick so engrossing in comedy that guy sitting next to me kept nudging me

2006-07-09T16:47:00.000+05:30

Yesterday's movie sitting late at hight in far away theatre was arousing, hot guy next to me kept his arms touching mine skin to skin and it was worth seeing some nonssensical part ,too! Too low jeans kept slipping down all the while. I had lot of eats, kept looking at my face in the mirror, too puffed out, black spots around eyes and so many lines getting drawn all over!
Had dyed my hair black, shortened after the haircut!
I was not getting sms or call from that guy, is he getting past me too fast, whether in a stage to walk out, let it be if he insists. I have no control over him as it is not possible to have control on anybody. Call from Omini for medical!
Today I had oil massage over the butt area, quite healing touch he gave. I had been watching the TV too engrossed near him and then made the request to massage which he readily obliged me. On Monday or days hence some visitor is expected straight from work area close to the house. He had been eying this chance for such a long time. I have no option of refusing him. Allow as many guys as possible lest I am left alone in the world of indifference. I am not on talking terms with most of the people, relatives anyway.

had haircut, got signatures verified at the bank and had a long call at home!

2006-07-08T17:37:00.000+05:30

Yesterday had gym in the morning so suit the evening party at AB's, very unpredictable behaviour from my side, not the least appropriate lesson for my junior, firstly it was grand party yet I created such a fuss over everything, a bad start at developing relations with close relatives!
I let my car driven by her so that I could be free from most hassle! She went shopping for the present reasonably priced looked though!

Today's morning gym was a little hectic and after that we both proceeded to our work of getting pending work started. No sms and call till date! what the hec! I am feeling sleepy and won't mind deep sleep till he returnd home!

laptop tops the list, it was first buy with such a hurry

2006-07-06T22:12:00.000+05:30

yesterday i bumped into nonfunctioning part of banking through computerization, got to wait for half an hour so to find out for how much I should be withdrawing from the bank, only thing functional was a tall guy standing and then waiting seated next to me, touching all the best parts unhesitatingly and pushed his card to get in the thick of it in the industrial area. wow!
so pushed way to the landmark to place the odrer for the laptop! it was sleek thing, black beauty some solo song sung by the salesman!
send him sms about having fixed the appointment for 6 pm Tuesday! Before that attended one important meeting in some classic building up there! made full use of opportunity to sell myself for which i was pointed out by blunder boss later on, so no turning back to zero next time, in fact today i was told to attend meeting on Tuesday as well! so my appointment goes for six!
so i had some feel of power that lies somewhere else, so better get it in my hands now!
Today in the morning got up to find the manual of the internet downloading and finally made it happening without asking for help from any quarter, both achievment for us! And then Rah made full use of it, found time for shopping burmudas and t shirt, pendrive and good lunch! He was finding summer heat very oppressing and also both of us commands on some small things!
No sms or call from either side, so cool are we now for each other, both letting things of heart go unleashed, i got my thing grinded as usual for mere heck of it, as i usually do with one way traffic only! today at the gym in the evening i was expecting to see him, he never came. we both would not see each other for some reason till Tuesdaymaybe!

so bad Lum coming to know about every sms that beeps...

2006-07-04T13:45:00.000+05:30

Yesterday at the clinic, he was getting all the attention, advices and care rightly deserved for his personality. I , too, tried to compete though in vain. He is smart for whatever he does. I possibly can't do same things as he does. He then shut his mouth obviously for medical reason, altogether a different aspect never seen in him, still cuter in this new forced role. I went home as he promised to reach at the gym next day.

So today got sms that he couldn't come for he had no solid food since yesterday and sent an explanation in the following sms. That sms beeps Lum tried to figure out whose it was, she guessed right. wow!
Today in the meeting I was again at the receiving end, less diplomatic and was seen as a person in haste. So I kept my cool, got up and gave my tics to the accounts for claim. Came over the bank counter and tried to push my way through asses!
Finally made payment to some insurance and sat in the library, finding everybody busy I took chance to type out today's blog!
Tom Wolf's 'A Man in Full' reissued. And I have to select two more!
Let it be management affairs!
So nothing commited!
Am I so simpleton to let somebody so junior pull my strings?
I am not getting things clearly.
He for all I know is like me!
Even if he does it, time spent together would be rewarding!
At the gym I got such a bad comparison with an old man who sits there at the counter that I could not recover myself from the shock! So yesterday's decision to get all my toothy smile back with permanent ones is right one!
I am sitting today to treat myself solely to get into biz world!

finally arrived at 11:30 at night,all tired bad stomach

2006-07-03T15:46:00.000+05:30

I let him phone as he came inside the room. had late dinner and slept in the same room for it was too hot to sleep in the other room without AC.In the morning some orange juice after I came from the gym. I met one friend, long time back gym friend doing law!

so engrossed with him and Rah coming that almost forgot to phone!

2006-07-02T23:20:00.000+05:30

Just now got call and my mind was at this blog, liking to fill things in memorable way, not missing any details about him. So miserable I was in letting Saga know what I did in the morning with guy from a far off city. I took the flight of imagination to describe this. He also intervened to add that he wants to try his own age group. So shocked I was. I got some dumb feelings. He said he liked particularly of some region with waist down features! I nodded to this. I don't belong there then! His training starts from 3rd now! One appointment with dentist, too. I got to pamper Rah meanwhile still waiting, he can drop here anytime now! Cleared cell phone of recent calls and rest of the information which could be disturbing!

so it was long wait and result was dismal

2006-07-02T22:53:00.000+05:30

i like to keep with Saga only. Still trying to get attached with other blokes. I felt it it was not right for me to do this. He might also try it. He also does it says openly; same age group. I cannot figure out what he likes. Figure out not difficult though i want to keep these things in real secret way, so i don't want to lose him. He wants to be popular with friends.